Why are pirates called pirates?........

coz they arrrre!
After buying all the gear we needed from scallville,
aka, hyde 'n' stockport, me and matty and a smaller
sized boyle went home and thought about how won-
derful our day had been, I paused in reflection for a
while.

Our pirate journey began a couple of days later;
At 06.00 hrs ish pm, 'Ambiguous Daryl Bones'
picked both 'Saggin Jowls Diego' and his two-eyed
sister 'Legless Doris Slasher' up on his 'Jenny sailor'
as he sailed through Marple massif on route to what
us pirates like to call basketbones, (Its basically the
same as basketball but with bones) hence the name.
As we boarded the 'Jenny' we came into contact with
two other fellow pirateers 'Wankin 'Louis Bellamy
and 'Cowerin 'Joe Smythe'. Arrrrrrrrrrrreeeee!

On route to basketbones we stopped off at Port Tescos
for rum and creme de menthe, as every pirate should
have when there is a long journey ahead of them.

Stopped off at fair fallowfield and saw 'The Duirt'-
typical boy student house...oh sweet david jones the
smell, good place to keep our prisoners I thought.
Got minibus to Basketbones after plying ourselves
with rum and de menthe and watched the last game
of Cap'n Bryan Pinkbeard for a while, as he is leaving
us for a rougher and meaner sea. Arrrrrreeeeeee!

The game began, involving sweat, swearing, laughing,
cheering, slurping, slugging, burpin, dunking,
nutmegging......."that ones true!" (thanks to Cap'n Bart
Mowhawk), and naked legs....mmmmhhh me hearties,
the game ended in a win, ah haaaaaaaa, well i think it
did anyway, I was too busy watchin hairy legs alot!

We ended B-Bones with a great team photo.

After B-Bones we jumped ship aboard 'Pirate wallace
the sword test dummy's' boat and paddled to Fair
Fallowfield where we played pirate poole, drank pink
rum, drank more pink rum and more and more untill
we were in drunk pirate heaven, 'Queens'. Arrreeee!
The place where we turned young 'freshers' meat into
young 'fresher' pirates, which began with Wankin'
Louis Bellamy approaching pretty wrenches and
offering them a choice of either walking the plank or to
be camoed up in pirate paint. They chose the camo since
they were in two minds as to what plank Wankin' Louis
was suggesting they walked upon? Dirty minded filthy
whences, this sought of thinking is probably how they
succeed in their job. Arrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee!
After this, many more freshers began to follow the
whences lead and we had ourselves a pirate party! Check
ze photos out down below!

All in all the pirate night was an arrrrrwesome night,
apart from the part where my two-eyed brother
Saggin' Jowls Diego decided to abandon ship by
launching himself into a sea of his fellow pirates'
arms which made a whench scream soooo loud and
frightfully that it scarred me for life!!!Arrrreeeee!
C**T!

We swam all the way back to 'The Duirt' and retired
for the night. Well so myself and 'Legless Gus Cooke'
thought untill halfway through the night when
'Munchkin' Hank Napier turned into a slug and began
to take over what little matress and sleeping bag
space we had. I cut his throat and 'Cooke' fed him to
the David Jones' locker shark party. Then, all was
silent for the night. Arghh, a pirates life for me!

Untill morning dawned. I puked then went to work
as a civilian.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!